I’ll bet you have heard most of your life that effective goal setting is essential for success.   Why then do so many of us fall short on this essential business and life skill?  The answer is complex and there are a variety of psychological reasons.

However rather than digging into the “why”, we will first quickly assess where you stand then use the following 10 tips for developing more powerful goals. Start by asking yourself these 3 questions:

1) Do I have clear, written and measurable goals for my business and personal growth?

2) Have I created specific action steps required to achieve each goal?

3) Do I regularly track and measure the progress of each of my goals?

If your answer is no the ten keys below will help you to become more effective with your goal setting efforts and achieve more measurable results in your business.

People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine. Brian Tracy

In my 2005 book Success Secrets of The Online Marketing Superstars I interviewed legendary author, Mark Victor Hansen about goals.  He is the co-author of the best selling series in history Chicken Soul For The Soul knows quite a lot about developing BIG goals.   Here are his tips about goal setting:

1) Your most important goals must be yours.

Not your spouse’s. Not your child’s. Not your employer’s. Yours. When you let other people determine your definition of success, you’re sabotaging your own future.

2)  Your goals must mean something to you.

When you write your goals, you must ask yourself, “What’s really important to me?” “What am I prepared to give up to make this happen?” Your reasons for charting a new course of action give you the drive and energy to get up every morning.

3) Your goals must be specific and measurable.

Vague generalizations and wishy-washy statements aren’t good enough.  Be very specific!

4) Your goals must be flexible.

A flexible plan keeps you from feeling suffocated and allows you to take advantage of genuine opportunities that walk in your future door.

5) Your goals must be challenging, exciting.

Force yourself to jump out of your comfort zone to acquire that energy and edge.

6) Your goals must be in alignment with your values.

Pay attention to your intuition, your gut. When you set a goal that contradicts your values, something inside will twinge. Pay attention.

7) Your goals must be well-balanced.

Make sure you include areas that allow time to relax, have fun and enjoy people in your closest circle.

8) Your goals must be realistic.

Be expansive but don’t be ridiculous. If you’re four feet tall, you will probably never play in the NBA. Also, be sure to allow yourself time to get there.

9) Your goals must include contribution.

Unfortunately, many people get so wrapped up in pursuing their goals that they don’t have time in their lives to give something back to society. Build this into your goals program.

10) Your goals need to be supported.

Either selectivity share a few of your dreams with a number of people, or share all of your dreams with a select few people. In either case, you’re creating a web of support and accountability for yourself.

Open your mind to all the possibilities. Start each goal with “I am” or “I will.” Don’t even think about restricting yourself!

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Your Coaching Action Step: Review the list above and write 5-7 specific 3 month goals (e.g. 10 new clients, 1000 new subscribers to my mailing list) then write the specific steps you will take to get there and track your progress every day!

by Mitch Meyerson

Many folks erroneously believe that being an exceptional “craftsman” (e.g. financial advisor, quilt maker, therapist, fund raiser, speaker, etc.) makes them qualified to operate a business that specializes in that work.

They spend most of their time performing “the work” of the business rather than leading, planning, organizing, systematizing and/or marketing their business!

Most of us know people like these: They must be at work everyday in order to conduct businesses. They do it all: pack boxes, write invoices, make sales calls, answer the phone, fix equipment, design their own web sites, write their own ad copy, troubleshoot problems, empty the trash, meet personally with every client, and so on.

They have no written procedures, documented processes or automated systems for doing anything. Rather, their valuable knowledge, innovative ideas and sound methodologies remain only in their heads.

You also won’t find them outsourcing work, forming beneficial strategic alliances, delegating tasks to employees or seeking wise counsel from other professionals. Why? Because many entrepreneurs believe they already know what they need to know – AND they don’t want to know what they don’t know! They are “unconsciously incompetent” and if they remain that way, their business will most certainly fail.

“If they don’t fail outright, most businesses fail to fully achieve their potential. That’s because the person who owns the business doesn’t truly know how to build a company that works without him or her… which is the key.”
Michael Gerber

So what happens? They try to go it alone. They get sick. They get sick and tired. They spend half a day at the Department of Motor Vehicles. They get stretched too thin. They feel rushed and overwhelmed. They worry that they can’t do it all. They worry that others won’t do “it” right. They know that they should let go, but can’t. They worry about what it might cost them to let go. They fail to fix serious flaws. They ignore their customers. They have a short term, “put-out-the-latest –fire” mentality. They miss golden opportunities. They feel like they need to get away. They take a much-needed vacation. Their businesses come to a screeching halt…

And when they return they discover that the work has piled up and they’ve lost money, frustrated customers and missed golden opportunities. What can be done about this?

Tips for fixing…

• Realize that being a good at “something” does not mean you’ll succeed at running a business that does that work.

• Objectively assess your business skills and knowledge.

• Play to your strengths, passions and skills. Do what you do best and let others help you.  Build a team of people – employees, consultants, strategic partners, and the like – who are more skilled that you in key areas.

• Seek, and offer, support from others outside of work… family, friends and colleagues. Take advantage of the vast resources available on the internet.

• Automate!  With all of the affordable technology available today – software, phone systems, web-based programs, etc. – there’s no excuse for going it alone.  It’s never been easier to communicate with prospects, troubleshoot problems, and stay in contact with customers and the like, even when you’re not there.

The preceding post was adapted from Mastering Online Marketing by Mitch Meyerson and Mary Eule Scarborough.  Get your copy here:  Mastering Online Marketing

Commitment is the attribute that divides winners from losers, and keeps some people moving when others stop dead in their tracks. It is the characteristic that keeps successful people optimistic in the midst of crushing disappointments. It is the quality that allows champions to learn from their losses and move on. Commitment keeps victors energized when the newness wears off.

How do you recognize committed souls from others? Simple.

People who are committed keep their promises. They do what they say, long after the moment they said it in has passed.

People who are committed are in it for the long haul. They are willing to exchange short-term luxuries for a brighter future.

People who are committed have their eye on the finish line, but enjoy the ride there.

People who are committed demonstrate a minute-after-minute, day-after-day, month-after-month, and year-after-year attention to ensuring that “mundane” tasks are accomplished, because they know that excellence isn’t in the details, it is the details.

People who are committed don’t build walls, they learn how to surpass them.

Yet, while most businesspeople agree that commitment is an admirable trait, they may not know exactly what it means to put into action – especially as it relates to Internet marketing. If you don’t believe this, go online and take a look. You’ll find gobs of abandoned and/or poorly maintained websites and blogs all over the place. Then, consider how much time, energy, know-how, and money their owners wasted, because neglected websites and blogs do not generate income!

Unfortunately, this is and all-too-common fate for entrepreneurs – who by their very nature, are generally much more action-oriented than others. So, why do some many well-intentioned and intelligent small businesspeople lack the commitment needed to grow and maintain a profitable business? If you’re assuming that the answer to this question is that these folks lack solid work ethics, you couldn’t be more wrong. Rather, it’s usually just the opposite. That is, many entrepreneurs become paralyzed because they’re overworked, over committed, and overwhelmed!

For example:

They’re eager to take advantage of new opportunities, so say “yes” to more than they can handle.

They’re reluctant to delegate tasks to employees or outsource work because they’re convinced that their product or service quality will suffer – or it will cost them a fortune.
They grossly underestimated how much time and energy it would take them to run their businesses smoothly.

They fail to document key processes and systems, which makes it very difficult for them to train others to take over.

And the list goes on… Yet, even if you don’t identify with entrepreneurs who suffer from these, your plate is probably still full and you haven’t a clue where you’ll find the time to add more responsibilities to your burgeoning to-do lists. All of us have times when we want to shout, “Will somebody please help me?!”

That’s just the point. You can’t. And even if you think you can, you shouldn’t try. Yes, guerrillas accomplish many things using only their time, energy, and know-how, but they also know when and how to get help.

Are you a Guerrilla?

The preceding excerpt was from Guerrilla Marketing On The Internet by Jay Conrad Levinson, Mitch Meyerson and Mary Scarborough

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Become a Certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach.  Get the full story here:

Mitch Meyerson

For 20 years I was a psychotherapist in Chicago and had a successful practice fueled by 3 books on personal growth. In those years I literally worked with thousands of clients who had goals and dreams that were not realized.

In my book Six Keys To Creating The Life You Desire I analyzed 6 underlying issues that were there root cause of their stuckness. In future posts I will examine these six keys but in this post I want to discuss a very common block for many entrepreneurs — conflicting intentions. The following excerpt comes from Chapter One of my book Mastering Online Marketing. Perhaps you will see yourself or someone you know…

Have you ever heard someone referred to as “their own worst enemy”? Do you wonder why many of us often seem to interfere with our own success? If so, you probably recognize that in spite of our constructive intentions to “do” something – become a successful online marketer, lose weight, call a relative, get that promotion, etc. – we don’t always follow through.

And in many instances it is not a simple case of procrastination. Rather it is more insidious… an often unconscious choice to achieve two opposing goals – ones that essentially make it impossible to accomplish either, because they cancel each other out.

Conflicting intentions are equal opportunity blockers… they come in every imaginable form. And during my many years consulting with entrepreneurs, I’ve seen so many variations of this pattern. Here are just a few:

• “I want to earn $500,000 a year but have loads of free time.”

• “I want to get rich even though my gut tells me that’s a selfish goal.”

• “I want to get married but still be free to do anything I want to do”

• “I want to be successful but I don’t want to do things that I don’t like.”

So what happens? These folks feel trapped and confused. Their dreams seem futile. Their results are second-rate or average at best.

Tips for fixing. First, you must acknowledge the existence of your conflicting intentions, even though they’re usually far more emotional than logical and may be buried deep in your subconscious. The good news is that you do have the power to change them. Try this:

1. Create a goal for yourself and write it down. For example, “I will mail my email subscribers every single week with valuable content to position myself as an expert in my industry”.

2. Underneath your promise, list all of the things that can stand in the way of you keeping your pledge. For example:

• I don’t want them to opt out of my list because I over mail to them
• I don’t think my content is original enough
• I don’t have enough time to do this
• It won’t really earn me money

Numbers 1 and 2 actually represent your conflicting intentions… Number 1 is encouraging you to act differently – to change in a meaningful way. Conversely, the items you listed in number 2 are convincing you that your goal is not worth the price you’ll pay and urging you to let it go.

3. Now, go back to the list you’ve made in number 2 and write down your supporting belief for each one. For example, under “My subscribers will opt out of my list if I mail once a week” you put, “My content is not strong enough.” If you dig even further you might come up with, “I feel to pushy or intrusive when I mail to them.”

Once you’ve identified these, you can begin challenging their veracity and begin to make positive changes.   i.e. Is it true that my content is not strong enough? Is it helpful material?  What can I do to improve it if necessary?  Am I really being intrusive or is that “my issue” from my past?  So what if they opt out?  – that will leave people who really are interested.

This type of internal assessment will be invaluable as you build and maintain your online business. Begin by defining your own positive intentions – what you want to happen. Then ensure that you are willing to embrace “the journey.” Delve into your own conflicting intentions – face them, challenge them and work hard to gain mastery over them.

by Mitch Meyerson

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by Bea Fields, Certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach , author of Millennial Leaders , Edge: A Leadership Storyand President of Bea Fields Companies, Inc.

As we move into future, we are going to be experiencing both changes and opportunities in the business world that are going to challenge us in ways we have never experienced in the past.

As business, community and political leaders, we are going to be called to step up to the plate and embrace our employees, constituents and customers as our most valuable assets, because more than ever before, they are going to hold the secret to our success. I know that we hear this every day, yet many people honestly don’t know how to build a sustainable company through people.

In this article, I share five of the most important skills leaders and teams will need to embrace in order to thrive in tomorrow’s world.

1. Radical Innovation

Is your business or organization really designed for innovation? Are you sure? Every day I speak to leaders who swear that their businesses are designed for innovation, but in my opinion, this is usually not the case. Why? Because they are stifling open debate, shooting the messenger and making it unsafe for people to voice their opinions.

If your business or company is truly an innovative one, your doors will be open for debate, and your culture will be designed to make it psychologically safe for both employees and customers to voice not only their suggestions, dreams and goals but their concerns, complaints and frustrations. A recent article in Harvard Business Review: The Customer-Centered Innovation Map is a must read for any business that wants to thrive in the future. The article comes from the perspective that when a customer buys a product or service from your company, they are actually hiring you to get a job done. This “job to be done” could be to make more money, look more beautiful, live a more healthy life, move into a dream home, become more credible or build a better relationship.

At each step of the process of the job getting done, both your employees and customers are going to experience both successes and struggle points (and some people will struggle more than others.) By carefully mapping the job a customer is trying to get done, you can find golden opportunities to innovate as you help the customer through your process. Along the way, you will want to ask questions such as “How can we do this much more efficiently?” and “What struggles and inconveniences are our customers experiencing?” and “How are trends affecting the way the job gets done?” and “What causes execution to go off track?” As you move through the life cycle of working with a client, looking at each and every compliment, complaint and challenge can open the door for your company to provide a new product, offering or level of customer service that will set you apart from your competition.

2. Intellectual Horsepower

It is going to become more and more difficult in the future to stay ahead of your competition if your team is not the best and the brightest in your industry. Intellectual horsepower includes not only IQ (many people believe that an IQ of 130 is needed today to be a top player) but includes transferable skills, the ability to understand and break a complex situation into logical steps and being super sharp, agile and a quick study. Intellectual horsepower also includes being able to embrace paradox and ambiguity and being adept at functioning effectively in the midst of opposing ideas or forces.

If you go back and consider the above topic about mapping the job the customer needs to get done, you will be able to identify the skill deficits in your organization. Each time a customer voices a success, ask yourself “Who worked with this client, and what skills were at play to make this customer experience outstanding?”

On the same note, if a customer’s job is not getting done, it’s time to step back and ask “What skills are missing from this process that we need in place?” From there, you can provide your team with the training and development needed to create outstanding customer experiences. Once you have trained your employees, if you have someone on your team who just doesn’t “get it”, then it’s time to replace that player with someone who can “get it” and get it quickly.

3. Employee Development

There are two scenarios that I often see in the work I do as a leadership coach:

1. The company relies on the heroism of a few employees to keep customers happy or

2. Customers constantly run to the owner of the company, who seems to be the only person who can clean up a mess

Both of these scenarios probably mean that your company is failing, that your service is lousy and it’s time for some rigorous employee development, and I don’t mean putting your team in a training room hoping they will get what they need in order to do a great job. As a leader, your job is to build a true learning organization, one which provides your employees with ongoing customized training and coaching so that they can step in and run your company at a moment’s notice. This process begins with a very thorough examination of what’s really going on in your company (this is time for you to become your biggest critic), making a list of every asset and shortcoming and each employee’s key strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Your next steps will be to design and implement a customized program which includes an on-the-job training and development program for each employee in the company.

After six months (12 months max) of on-the-job training, if someone in your company cannot be trained to move up, then as harsh as it may sound, that person will more than likely become obsolete in the next few years. As technology advances and our global economy become more and more competitive, it is going to be critical to have a rock solid employee development system in place, and that development program should be designed so that an employee can advance in your company. If an employee cannot develop the skills needed to move up in your company, that position will become a financial and productivity strain on your company. Simply because you are not addressing training and development does not mean that your competitors aren’t, and those that do will have one leg up in the future. It’s that simple.

4. Strategic Agility

In today’s world, your customers may know what they want, but in most cases, they don’t have a clue what’s possible and what creative offerings you can bring to the table.

One of the reasons Apple is so successful is because Steve Jobs has an uncanny ability to know what customers need and want before they request it. None of us knew that we wanted a white ear bud and 10,000 songs in a tiny device that could easily slip in a shirt pocket or the palm of a hand, but boy did we ever eat it up!

By fine tuning your strategic thinking, you will be able to anticipate future consequences and trends, create competitive breakthroughs and paint a vision of what your company will look like tomorrow (which always infuses a sense of inspiration and optimism into a company).

One of the best ways to strengthen strategic agility is to move your team from working on details to a place of curiosity and imagination. By asking some radical questions such as “What would a doctor, actress or astronaut tell us we need to do in the future?” or “How would we change our business if we moved the headquarters to China?”, you will find that your perspective will broaden and your focus will sharpen.

5. Technological Savvy

I know, I know. Everyone is so tired of talking technology. But there are some amazing things happening out there right now. Many cutting-edge companies are using Facebook to build networks, the tool Second Life for training purposes, and games like Warcraft, EverQuest and Lineage are being used to strengthen strategic thinking, the quest for speed and to stimulate discussion about the world of business and finance.

I believe that Generation Y holds the key to your ability to build a tech savvy organization, so don’t discount what they can bring to your company. They are our future, and it’s time to start welcoming them and allowing them to teach us what they know so that we can leverage their knowledge for our future success. Generation Y will provide you with a terrific opportunity to deliberately develop out your company’s capabilities, so embrace them, learn from them, develop them and lead them. You will set the tone for generations to come that you respect young, eager, creative minds.

We know clients with very small or inconsistent incomes who feel financially secure. As one of them put it, “I know, no matter what, I’ll land on my feet.” They aren’t careless or impractical, either. These people have a natural sense of abundance, a deep belief that there is enough to go around.

We also know clients who have a great deal of income and investments and who are fearful every moment of losing them. To the person who lives with a sense of scarcity, there truly is never enough. He or she therefore is much more apt to go for the sure thing, the instant payoff, the action that will pay the bills today, than take the type of risks involved in seeking a higher purpose or meaning in life.

Karla, 35, is a case in point. She is a special education teacher who works with severely learning disabled children. “Every so often I’ll meet someone and they’ll ask me what I do, and when I tell them, they’ll say something like, “Oh, you’re such a special person to work with those children. It must be so rewarding.” I really want to die when they say that. I got my degree in special education simply because that’s where the jobs were, and I knew that I had to have a job the day I graduated college or I’d have no way to survive. To be honest, the job is boring and tedious. To me, there’s nothing meaningful about it at all. I know that there were probably other things I could have done with my life that I might have enjoyed more. But, hey, with a mortgage, a divorce, and a teenager, I was too afraid to go for it.”

A sense of scarcity is like a filter through which we view everything. It’s not necessarily reality. However, it’s a way of protecting ourselves from risk and disappointment. In truth, it often limits us to a life that is somewhere in the middle of happiness and unhappiness. It’s usually steady and stable. “I guess I’d call it vanilla,” Karla says. “It’s not a sundae with all the trimmings, but at least you’re eating ice cream.” One might think Karla is being practical. But thirteen years doing a job she dislikes goes beyond practicality. It’s her enduring sense of scarcity that won’t allow her to see that she does, in fact, have options.

Where do you stand on the scarcity vs abundance continuum?

Answer the following questions either true or false.

1. I often worry that there won’t be enough money even when things are going well
2. In choosing a career, security is a top priority.
3. I often worry about losing what I’ve gained through no fault of my own.
4. I rarely take risks with things that are dearest to me.
5, I have trouble believing, Do what you love and the money will follow.
6. I worry that my children won’t have as many opportunities in their lives as generations before them.
7. I have trouble believing that eventually everything works out.
8. I don’t feel especially connected to anything beyond my day to day activities.
9. When people say, “Don’t worry, it will work out,” I think they’re naive.
10. I have doubts whether there is a high power who has a master plan for me.
11. When I leave a relationship, it’s usually because I’ve met someone else – I’d rather stay than be alone.
12. Making changes in my life, whether it means moving to another home, or switching careers, can be very difficult for me.

Have you answered true more often than false?

It doesn’t mean you’re right or wrong. Just consider that when one sees scarcity all around him, taking the time to pursue such questions as, What would have real meaning for me? What do I really want? is that much more difficult. It seems impractical. But, that doesn’t mean it is. This isn’t an either/or type of endeavor, where you either take wild risks or stay stuck with what you have. There are ways all of us can begin to feel a greater, more freeing sense of abundance in our lives without giving up the tried and true.

Here are some more questions to consider to enhance your sense of meaning, purpose and sense of abundance.

1. When do you feel your life has the most purpose and meaning? When do you feel the deepest joy?
(i.e. With my grandchild; when I play piano; in my garden; when I take a course; when I exercise)

2. How could your gifts and talents fulfill a need in the world?
(i.e my art skill could bring joy to elderly people, my teaching skill could educate children, my optimism could motivate others)

3. What would I like people to say about me after I’m gone?
(i.e. he/she was a good person, creative, loving, talented,enjoyed life to the fullest)

4. In what ways would you act differently if you had only one year to live?
(i.e. Make sure I made a contribution to what I believe in; tell people I love how I feel about them; visit places I’ve always wanted to see)

Mitch Meyerson is the Founder of Guerrilla Marketing Coaching and the author of 8
psychology and marketing books. www.MitchMeyerson.com

Thousands of pundits, experts, philosophers and scientists have conducted research in an attempt to discover the common characteristics that successful people possess. And while opinions vary, most agree that those belonging to this elite group share the following 10 personality traits.

Look them over and see how you fare. Check your strengths and note areas where you may be weak. Not sure how you rate? Ask colleagues, family and friends to help you out.

1. Conscientious and Reliable… they deliver on their promises in a timely manner.

2. Altruistic and Considerate… they truly care about the welfare of others and demonstrate this concern often

3. Flexible… they understand that they must follow a plan but understand, expect and even welcome change

4. Able to give and receive constructive feedback… They have the courage to accept and provide specific feedback and constructive coaching without getting defensive.

5. Passionate and Enthusiastic… They have the fervor, energy and interest necessary to fuel their all important vision

6. Optimistic… They are positive thinkers who choose to see the best in people and situations but are not afraid to confront the cold, hard facts and weigh the risks in any new venture. Instead they use their energy and resources to figure out ways to make things work rather than why they won’t.

7. Committed to Livelong Learning… They ask questions; search for knowledge and information; value education and respect others who do so as well.

8. Tenacious and persistent… They don’t give up when the going gets rough

9. Balanced in mind, body and spirit… they possess the mental, physical and emotional intelligence and skills necessary to perform their job responsibilities at a high level

10. Focused on the long term… they understand that part of the work they do today is building long term relationships with clients and vendors and planning for their future.

After you assess yourself in these 10 areas, share your findings with a partner and commit to a measurable plan of action to raise your scores. This will make a significant improvement in the success of your business and life.

In 2008 Mitch Meyerson will be releasing his 5th and 6th books, Mastering Online Marketing and Guerrilla Marketing on The Front Lines

For more info  visit
www.MitchMeyerson.com

by Bea Fields, Certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach
and President of Five Star Leader Coaching and Training

“When is John going to get me that report?”
“What is going on with the marketing report? When are they going to finish that thing?”
“I can’t believe Mary is so late in making those phone calls.”
“Okay…who dropped the ball this time?”
“Hey…that’s not MY job.”

Does this sound familiar? If so, your small business team may be faced with a big challenge with accountability, which results in finger pointing, frustration and broken trust…both with your employees and your customers. Personal responsibility and accountability can put an end to the blame game, saving your business thousands if not millions of dollars by increasing productivity and overall job satisfaction, which results in very satisfied customers. These five basic approaches can support you in increasing accountability, which are simple, yet they require actually building a culture of accountability for your business.

Communicate the big picture- Accountability stands a better chance of succeeding if everyone in your business embraces a larger responsibility for the success of the entire company. Spend time talking individually with team members about how his or her project affects the vision and mission of the business. With this communication, people can make wiser decisions from the context of the “big picture” rather than from the perspective of what may seem to be a detailed and boring task.

State clear expectations- If one person on your team does not meet your expectations, the entire team can fail. It is important from the very beginning of any new project to state the expectations clearly and repeat them over and over again until your team really “gets it.” These expectations need to be crystal clear, including dates, who is responsible for what, the details of the task and how you want the finished product delivered. If your expectations are fuzzy or confusing in any way, your team can break down, and the fine and very important details can fall through the cracks.

Accountability work groups- One of the best ways to achieve accountability is to develop shared accountability among team members. Accountability within the team can be accomplished by what Morris R. Shechtman calls “accountability groups,” groups which give team members the permission to speak and listen in a way which is frank and open. This accountability group can include 2-5 people and can then serve as a small unit of people working together to confide in with struggles, weaknesses and insecurities. They can then find creative strategies to work together in the direction of the growth the team intends to achieve.

Move to action- In order for accountability to work, people have to know that failure of completion will come with certain consequences, including written warnings, loss of a bonus or extra hours served on a week-end to complete the project on the table. Without consequences, your employees won’t take you seriously. They will think that they can use blame, justification and rationalization as a way to deviate from being responsible, because you have not followed through on what you said you will do if the tasks are not achieved.
Reward and recognition program- Employees need to know in a tangible way their efforts are indeed driving the company forward, and it is important for them to share in the fruits of their hard work. The offer of increased pay and benefits (vacations, time off and other perks) can keep accountability and morale high and can motivate employees to continue to strive for high levels of performance.

(c)2007 Bea Fields
Be can be reached at: www.FiveStarLeader.com

by Mitch Meyerson

“Every year I make a list of New Year’s resolutions, and by the end of January I can’t even remember what was on my list.”
“I have this great idea for a book, but I never get around to putting it down on paper.”
“Just when I start moving towards my goals I seem to hit this wall.”

Sound familiar? If you could “just do it” you probably would have done it. If you’re strong on ideas, but perpetually stuck at the starting line, the following tips will help.

• Be specific about what you want

Change “I want more money,” to “I want to earn $60,000 by December 31, 2004.” Revamp “I want to write someday,” to “I want to write forty pages by August.”

Keep your goals simple. Too many goals are overwhelming, a good excuse for doing nothing at all.

• Be suspicious of your failures

There’s an old saying that people vote with their feet. It means we are exactly where we want to be no matter how much we complain.

Be suspect of any goal you’ve had for more than five years and haven’t achieved. One man spent more than seven years trying to finish his MBA, dropping classes, taking extensions on papers, only to discover that he really didn’t want the degree at all.

When you’re doing what’s close to your heart, it’s easy. Work with your nature. Be suspect of anything that seems too difficult. People find it easier to blame themselves for laziness than to admit that it’s a difficult process to face up to who we really are and what we really want. It feels lonely to admit that we might be different from others, that your goals aren’t the same as theirs. Your failures might be your way of protecting yourself from becoming what you never really wanted to be.

What’s your current goal? Why do you want it so badly? Write two paragraphs answering these questions. Then convince a friend. Notice any possible resistance coming up. Ask yourself again “Is this what I really want?”

• Recognize your fear

Fear is a common response to risk and responsibility. The most common fears are fear of failure, fear of success or fear of abandonment.

The fear of failure indicates you may need to re-examine past disappointments. Talking them out in a supportive setting can release them.

A fear of success can often reflect an expectation of rising expectations–”If I achieve this, people will want more and more from me and I’ll never be able to give them what they want.”

Some of us have fears, often unconscious, of surpassing a parent with our success. A fear of abandonment reflects a belief that success will be connected with disapproval and loss of relationships.

• Are you “demand-resistant”?

Therapists define demand-resistance as having a chronic negative response to obligations or expectations. This is often unconsious. The person who suffers will make daily lists of things to do, then grow angry and anxious when it’s time to get moving. Unconsciously, he or she resents anything that smacks of being “told what to do.”

In some cases, even returning a phone call, or asking a friend to dinner is resented because it’s “expected”. Pleasurable activities, such as working out at a health club, or taking a class in Italian cooking, become “shoulds” to be done perfectly or on a rigid schedule. Work is a burden, and creativity and energy is blocked.

If you suffer from demand-resistance, you constantly find that you set goals and sabotage them. You are always angry at yourself, continually resolving to set goals and stick to them.

The antidote is to keep asking yourself, “Is this what I really want?” Demand-resistance is often a childhood response to overly controlling or overly protective parents. As an adult, such a person always feels vulnerable to being overrun.

The more sure you are of yourself, the more you work on building a strong sense of who you are, the less you’ll feel like resisting your goals just to prove a point.

• Create momentum

Write down your action steps with a dateline for completion. Suppose your goal is writing a screenplay. Your first action step can be something as simple as buying a how-to book. Your next step might be writing your idea for a movie out in one sentence.

Having one hundred small steps to one large goal isn’t unrealistic. Build in incentives. Reward yourself for the completion of each action step.

• Gather support

Let people know what you are trying to do. Don’t minimize the importance of support and reassurance along the way to any goal you set.

• Celebrate

Small successes lend the strength for bigger ones. Positive reinforcement can do more to reshape you patterns than self-criticism.

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Building Personal Power
(excerpted from Six Keys to Creating the Life You Desire)
by Mitch Meyerson

(Before developing the GMC Program, Mitch Meyerson was a prominent therapist and author of three personal growth books. Here is an excerpt of one of his articles. He coaches on personal growth issues as well).

Penny, a thirty-one-year-old public relations specialist recalls her worst experience. “Basically, my job was to convince feature writers at the local newspapers to write a story about a client’s charity event. I phoned the first reporter on the list and went into my pitch.

“Look,” he yelled, cutting me off mid-sentence, “there’s some damn charity event in this city every other week. Why are you bothering me with this?”

“I started feeling like an idiot. “But this is for muscular sclerosis,” I stammered.

“Big deal,” he said, hanging up.

“I knew he was just a jerk, but I couldn’t make another one of those phone calls the rest of the afternoon. I felt completely shut down.”

Shut down. That sinking feeling that begins like butterflies in the stomach then turns into something that feels like a fist is an event most people can identify with. Like a balloon deflating, our entire emotional state sinks down in seconds. We become quiet, withdrawn, ashamed. Curiously, only certain situations and people tend to “shut us down” and make us lose our personal power. One person criticizes us, and we shrug it off. But another person so much as looks at us the wrong way and we’re devastated.

What shuts us down? Usually it is a combination of the following:

Fear of rejection. Carole, 38, admits, “I’m a peacemaker; I hate to upset anyone.” Carole doesn’t realize that many of the people who get “upset” do it as a way of controlling her. She misinterprets other people’s anger as an invalidation of herself. If you believe you can’t assert yourself because it might make someone else unhappy, you’re stuck avoiding confrontation–and your personal power– at all costs.

An overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Some people are emotional sponges who soak up all the tensions in a room. “I’ll bet John’s depressed; I wonder if it’s because I didn’t return his call; Barry seems upset; maybe I should forget about asking for that new software program.”
When your antenna for other people’s emotions is tuned that high, the noise (and your imagination) is loud enough to distract you from your goals. Your unwavering focus on pleasing everyone around you is what’s shutting you down.

Fear of emotional independence. Louise, 29, came from a long line of ‘victims’ who confused suffering with sainthood. “Everyone in my family was depressed about something. If you acted like you believed in yourself, everyone thought you were conceited and the way you got attention was to pretend to be sad.” If you believe you’re going to get what you want by showing how much others have hurt your feelings, you’re shut down before you even start talking.

Fear of risking a relationship. Do you believe that if you made your feelings and desires known, exactly as they are, no one could possibly accept you? You’re a good candidate for getting shut down. The payoff for hiding your true self is always distance from other people. You’re bound to be powerless in relationships in which the fear of being fully yourself keeps you on constant guard.
Fear of change. You can be quite comfortable feeling one-down to everyone else if that’s what you’re used to. Plus, when you exert your personal power, the feedback from others–especially those who have something to gain by your powerlessness–can be quite negative.

You may resist using your personal power because you fear loss. Sometimes this fear is justified. But if you’re carrying around unresolved feelings of rejection from the past, this fear will be magnified. To let go of the fear of change, it may be necessary to work with a supportive therapist or group. The more centered you are in your self-esteem, the less you need to fear change.

If you feel shut down by other people, these tips should be helpful:

List your payoffs. What do you think you’ll achieve by giving up your power to other people?: “If I don’t fight with him, he’ll like me; If I tell her what I really think, it will make things worse; If I’m too pushy, everyone will hate me.”

Ask if you achieve your goals via your present behavior. One woman did this exercise and wrote that the payoff for being the ‘perfect employee’ and swallowing her feelings was supposed to be her boss’s confidence in her. Then she looked at the most recently promoted people in her company. Their qualities differed markedly from hers. They make mistakes. They argued with the boss on occasion. They won their boss’s confidence by being fully themselves.

Visualize. A potent tool for building greater personal power is utilizing the positive experiences in your own past. Create an internal file of memories of success. These don’t have to be huge triumphs, just times you felt good about yourself. Build on these feelings and create new visions for future successes. Visualize these experiences in detail as often as you can. What you concentrate on in life increases.

Find your emotional link. People who are easily shut down usually share a common history: they were invalidated–made to feel as if their feelings, thoughts and actions were unimportant or undesirable–by parents, teachers or early employers. Now they link the use of their personal power with shame and fear. If you blush or smile automatically when you confront a person who’s made you angry, that’s a giveaway.

Put that shame back where it belongs –on the people who shamed you. Write a letter. You don’t have to mail it. You don’t have to be fair. Get those feelings out so that they no longer choke your personal power.

You may have grown up in an environment that sabotaged your self esteem. But personal power can be developed. By identifying self-defeating patterns you can learn to empower yourself. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

This was excerpted from Six Keys to Creating the Life of Your Dreams by Mitch Meyerson. Visit here for more information on Mitch’s coaching and mentoring programs.